Growing up I was terrible at lying to my mother. Mainly because I do not have that great of a poker face and I never really understood why someone would waste their energy lying. This doesn’t even just apply to relationships! Think about the students who lied about why they couldn’t finish their homework or take the test that day. Now in adult life there always seems to be people lying to cover up what they did wrong, why it couldn’t be done, and who is really to blame. Sometime, even our closest relationships lie to us, friends and family included. Is it really that hard to just say….
“Hey, I did this wrong. Won’t happen again.”
“Sorry, I know we had plans but I just don’t want to go out.”
“Yes, I am at a bar even though I told you I was asleep. Whoops.”
These are the different type of liars I have encountered. Can you relate?
The Fact Checker:
These are the people that you have to know their coordinates on the map the moment that they lied before they will even begin to admit their guilt. Fact checkers are the most stubborn and probably the hardest to get the truth out of. My suggestion is always come with the facts before you even try to tackle that beast. If you try to fib your way through just a portion of what you think happened, they will hold onto that one error and you lose all credibility. There is no way they are admitting anything to you until you present them with the correct evidence.
** I think if you dated someone like this and the relationship is now over. Be thankful, because having to collect the data to bust them just isn’t worth it for the long haul. You don’t want to spend your life like a LAW & ORDER interrogation room.**
These are the people that you confront them with the lie, and they just say nothing. They have no reason or excuse they just go completely silent. I don’t really know how you can begin to get these people to tell you the truth. The way they see it
Hear no evil, See no evil, Speak no evil. If you’re having a one sided conversation there is no point in wasting your energy on a dead end.
** I think this is more common with text messages/social media/online dating then face to face. However, I have had a few friends who I say something about the flaw in their version of a story, and there is a long pause and followed up by a shrug. Can’t win. **
The Long Story That Never Makes Sense: (always involves a disaster)
This seems to be the go to for most women. We think the longer the story the more truthful it sounds. No. Just NO!
It’s always involving something with work, animals, cars, or sickness. All of these disaster happen back to back in a 30 minute time frame so that’s why they can’t get coffee with you even though you’ve been at starbucks for 15 minutes waiting on them.
** At my first job a girl asked me to cover her shift because she stayed up all night studying, then her car was broken into, and her cat was throwing up so she had to take it to the vet. Newsflash, just say “Hey, can you cover me”. **
There is always someone throwing it back at you when you confront them about a lie. It’s all of sudden reverse psychology. What they did wrong wasn’t apparently wrong until you found out about it and called them out. Because that makes sense?
** This is like a guys GO TO for covering up their own lies. I dated this guy who told me he was going to a concert with his friends from work. Apparently, his phone “died” but lucky for me I peeked over to an Instagram page and there my boyfriend was sitting at a concert with another girl in his lap. However, I am the crazy one for finding it on his coworkers Instagram. It’s not crazy if you’re right. It can’t be that challenging to be a good guy, but I’m the crazy one. **
I Lied Because I Had To:
There are people out there that truly believe they can’t tell you the truth because maybe you can’t handle it? maybe you will over react? maybe you will not be understanding to what happened? Regardless of the reason you did something wrong, and you just have to accept that and be honest. The rest is out of your hands to how they react!
** Growing up this was probably everyones favorite excuse for a lie to their parents. When I was a junior in Highschool my spanish 3 teacher had such a thick accent literally everything she said in english sounded like spanish. I never knew what the hell was going on. When we got our grades for the semester it was no surprise I had 48 in the class. Trying to hide this from my mom was not the best idea, because she was going to find out when I had to take summer school. However, I just believed I had to lie to her because she wouldn’t understand and over react. The longer I waited the worst it got. I didn’t have my car most of my junior year.”***
My thoughts on Lying?
It just seems exhausting having to remember all of your lies and who you told what to. Maybe for some people it’s not? I just know it has to be really exhausting to pretend to be someone you’re not or doing something you didn’t or did do and having to keep track of those lies. It’s okay to hurt people’s feelings because that is LIFE! In the end I say it’s better to tell the truth even if it sucks the big one. You will be a better person because of it and people will be able to appreciate your honesty.
Honest people are a dying breed.
Ordinary Lady Sarah
I have given up on being original and accepted I’m an extra dose of ordinary. Consider myself a creator of false worlds working on the TV show Revenge in the Set Decorating Department. There will never come a time in my life where I believe women shouldn’t be helping women. Started blogging because being opinionated on my facebook status was getting old.