Embrace the ME not the We

I know there are very few ladies out there that enjoy being single. I also know plenty that are wild and happy singles, but in reality Why else would we go out? Yeah, of course we love our  lady friends and girl time, but we all still have the hopes of meeting someone interesting too. Some of us suffer from lilly padding from one serious thing to the next. Which brings me to if you’re newly single enjoy being a ME when the opportunity is there.

As someone who is a lillypad hopper… I realized after my break up I didn’t even know what I wanted because what I thought I wanted wasn’t my reality anymore. Now that I’ve been single for 6 months I can’t really imagine giving it up that easily.

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1. I REALLY love my friends.

It’s very common to ignore your friends once you meet someone new because it does take a lot of time and effort in a fresh relationship. I love hanging out with my friends and at this point I can’t split my time.

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2. You were probably more interesting until I got to know you.

Having a casual conversation and covering the bases on the surface of their life he/she might seem great. But after a month I’m going to realize you aren’t as cool and interesting as I thought you would be… It’s like when you read the back of a book and get so excited upon purchase then it has no development and sucky ending. (Don’t online date)

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3. I’m not really interested in our friends meeting.

There is always a birthday party that they are invited to and you’re the plus one. Everyone knows each other and then I come off as the anti-social bitch. Suffering from social anxiety and large groups of strangers.. I need a freaking roofie please.

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4. Not really into seeing your place.

This goes both ways. Many people that I know that find living habits the deal breaker. Mine is always roommates. I understand the cost of living is a struggle. However, you having roommates is equivalent to living at home. It feels like being 18 again tip toeing into your place. I’m a grown woman if I want to tap dance in my heels  at 3 am on your hardwoods and not worry about waking up Sally. I also trip and run into walls frequently. Not suited for a quiet environment.

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5. Work issues.

I work in a film industry my schedule isn’t super flexible so if you’re available for lunch on a Tuesday… I probably will never have time for you. Work sometimes isn’t what drives people, but for some of us it’s priority #1.

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6. I don’t want a nickname.

Seriously, don’t call me baby. Hi – I am Sarah.

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7. Need my alone time. 

I talk to myself daily. It gets weird when other people are around while you are trying to have a conversation with yourself (Mainly, I talk to myself because my thoughts are so scattered that saying it out loud makes me focus on one topic). Sometimes it’s necessary to just hang out with your best friend – Yourself! Because if you can’t be alone with you, chances are no one else is going to enjoy one on one company either.

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I don’t mean to come off bitter or bashing on relationships. My friend’s currently  in relationships/married are amazing, and I fall under the spell of being super envious. My point is to  embrace the time you have alone because we can get caught up in the idea of being in a committed relationship, and settle for something we truly do not want. No matter what your stance is on relationships – THEY ARE WORK! It’s like the stairmaster, it doesn’t matter if you are on level 1 you will break a sweat. So spend time stretching and breathing before you dive in deep.

 

Don’t sell yourself cheap… breathe, relax, and have fun! 
Patience is a virtue which most of us do not possess.

Written by: Ordinary Lady Sarah
Screen Shot 2014-05-29 at 6.30.41 PM
I have given up on being original and accepted I’m an extra dose of ordinary.
Consider myself a creator of false worlds working on the TV show Revenge in the Set Decorating Department.
There will never come a time in my life where I believe women shouldn’t be helping women.
Started blogging because being opinionated on my facebook status was getting old.

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Being Insecure makes us successful

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I think we have all been coached since birth to believe in ourself, have an abundant amount of confidence. If we ever doubt ourself, Thankfully, we  have parents who reassured us we were God’s gift to earth since they produced us. Over the past 6 months I have been going through crazy changes in my life that have created a world of insecurities.

It’s hard to talk about your insecurities because I am pretty positive that people do not see our own personal battles going on. To talk about it publicly or shed light on the issues is exposing that vulnerability, and if they never noticed it before you have now put a magnify glass on it.
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The truth is I feel bad for people who have too much confidence to admit they are insecure. Insecurity is what makes us successful in life.
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 We as a society have had it all wrong believing you need to be overly confident and self assured to be successful. Wrong, being insecure always has us pushing ourselves to do better keeps us creative and hungry for more. People who think they have it all or are too confident can’t grow as a person. They lack the ability to be open minded and see outside of themselves. I don’t believe that some of the greatest artists in the world made such masterpieces because they knew they had talent, and believed what they were doing would make history. Insecurities are scary and lonely, but it builds a thick skin for life, all of those emotions and fears can be translated into something wonderful.
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So I say be a little less confident. Do something that makes you feel insecure. Be scared because going through life playing is safe is no way to be successful, and it’s not living. 

I’m a bad liar, and I’m happy about that.

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Growing up I was terrible at lying to my mother. Mainly because I do not have that great of a poker face and I never really understood why someone would waste their energy lying. This doesn’t even just apply to relationships! Think about the students who lied about why they couldn’t finish their homework or take the test that day. Now in adult life there always seems to be people lying to cover up what they did wrong, why it couldn’t be done, and who is really to blame. Sometime, even our closest relationships lie to us, friends and family included. Is it really that hard to just say….

“Hey, I did this wrong. Won’t happen again.”  
“Sorry, I know we had plans but I just don’t want to go out.”
“Yes, I am at a bar even though I told you I was asleep. Whoops.” 

 

These are the different type of liars I have encountered. Can you relate? 

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The Fact Checker:
 These are the people that you have to know their coordinates on the map the moment that they lied before they will even begin to admit their guilt. Fact checkers are the most stubborn and probably the hardest to get the truth out of. My suggestion is always come with the facts before you even try to tackle that beast. If you try to fib your way through just a portion of what you think happened, they will hold onto that one error and you lose all credibility.  There is no way they are admitting anything to you until you present them with the correct evidence. 
** I think if you dated someone like this and the relationship is now over. Be thankful, because having to collect the data to bust them just isn’t worth it for the long haul. You don’t want to spend your life like a LAW & ORDER interrogation room.** 

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The Silencer:
These are the people that you confront them with the lie, and they just say nothing. They have no reason or excuse they just go completely silent. I don’t really know how you can begin to get these people to tell you the truth. The way they see it 
Hear no evil, See no evil, Speak no evil. If you’re having a one sided conversation there is no point in wasting your energy on a dead end. 
** I think this is more common with text messages/social media/online dating then face to face. However, I have had a few friends who I say something about the flaw in their version of a story, and there is a long pause and followed up by a shrug. Can’t win. **

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The Long Story That Never Makes Sense: (always involves a disaster)
This seems to be the go to for most women. We think the longer the story the more truthful it sounds. No. Just NO!  
It’s always involving something with work, animals, cars, or sickness. All of these disaster happen back to back in a 30 minute time frame so that’s why they can’t get coffee with you even though you’ve been at starbucks for 15 minutes waiting on them. 
** At my first job a girl asked me to cover her shift  because she stayed up all night studying, then her car was broken into, and her cat was throwing up so she had to take it to the vet. Newsflash, just say “Hey, can you cover me”. **

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You’re Crazy: 
There is always someone throwing it back at you when you confront them about a lie. It’s all of sudden reverse psychology. What they did wrong wasn’t apparently wrong until you found out about it and called them out. Because that makes sense? 
** This is like a guys GO TO for covering up their own lies. I dated this guy who told me he was going to a concert with his friends from work. Apparently, his phone “died” but lucky for me I peeked over to an Instagram page and there my boyfriend was sitting at a concert with another girl in his lap. However, I am the crazy one for finding it on his coworkers Instagram. It’s not crazy if you’re right. It can’t be that challenging to be a good guy, but I’m the crazy one. **

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I Lied Because I Had To: 
There are people out there that truly believe they can’t tell you the truth because maybe you can’t handle it? maybe you will over react? maybe you will not be understanding to what happened? Regardless of the reason you did something wrong, and you just have to accept that and be honest. The rest is out of your hands to how they react! 
** Growing up this was probably everyones favorite excuse for a lie to their parents. When I was a junior in Highschool my spanish 3 teacher had such a thick accent literally everything she said in english sounded like spanish. I never knew what the hell was going on. When we got our grades for the semester it was no surprise I had 48 in the class. Trying to hide this from my mom was not the best idea, because she was going to  find out when I had to take summer school. However, I just believed I had to lie to her because she wouldn’t understand and over react. The longer I waited the worst it got. I didn’t have my car most of my junior year.”***

 

My thoughts on Lying?

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It just seems exhausting having to remember all of your lies and who you told what to. Maybe for some people it’s not? I just know it has to be really exhausting to pretend to be someone you’re not or doing something you didn’t or did do and having to keep track of those lies. It’s okay to hurt people’s feelings because that is LIFE! In the end I say it’s better to tell the truth even if it sucks the big one. You will be a better person because of it and people will be able to appreciate your honesty.

Honest people are a dying breed. 

Written by:
Ordinary Lady Sarah

Screen Shot 2014-05-29 at 6.30.41 PM
I have given up on being original and accepted I’m an extra dose of ordinary. Consider myself a creator of false worlds working on the TV show Revenge in the Set Decorating Department. There will never come a time in my life where I believe women shouldn’t be helping women. Started blogging because being opinionated on my facebook status was getting old.

 

Endorphins are bullshit.

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Everyone talks about how great exercise makes you feel because you release endorphins. Endorphins make you happy and happy people are good people.
Bullshit. 
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Then people who love to workout talk about how “You just have to keep doing it then you will love it”
Bullshit. 
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I do it because I have to – not because I want to. Personally, I know I  have to be healthy and proactive because of my family medical history. Aside from that  everyone should be apart of getting out and doing stuff you enjoy. Don’t get sucked into the idea you have to be in a gym trapped in the four walls of fluorescent lighting, and running in place like a hamster in their ball.

Do stuff you like to do!

I love to hike. I hate snakes, but I hate gyms more. So I get up and go to hiking trails , because even though I am lazy it’s something I enjoy (depending on the heat) and can do without a shrugging.

Don’t let people bully you into doing shit you hate. Find something! The hard part is having to try new things, but in the end you might just find something you like and are good at !

 

Written by:
Ordinary Lady Sarah. 
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I have given up on being original and accepted I’m an extra dose of ordinary. Consider myself a creator of false worlds working on the TV show Revenge in the Set Decorating Department. There will never come a time in my life where I believe women shouldn’t be helping women. Started blogging because being opinionated on my facebook status was getting old.